Almost all of us have had times when someone we know has been
down or has been going through a tough time.
Some people are great at letting people know how they're going;
they know when to speak with a friend, family member, teacher or
counsellor to get support if they're going through a tough time and
don't see talking about their problems as a weakness.
However, many people don't talk about their difficulties or seek
support when they really need it. This is particularly the case for
young people. This might be for a number of reasons, including not
knowing who they can talk to, or being worried about what people
will think if they do open up.
The thing is, if someone is going through a really tough time, it
can be a massive relief to be given permission to say 'I'm not OK'
and to be given an easy opportunity to ask for help.
That's what RUOK? Day is about - giving people the
excuse to ask their friends and family if they're ok, and giving
people information about how and where to get help if they need it.
So Thursday 7 October is your chance to ask the
question - RUOK?
The RUOK?
Day team, in conjunction with Lifeline, have developed these Five Top Tips to assist you to
connect with other people and to have a conversation that asks the
RUOK?
Tip 1. Be receptive
- Take the lead, show initiative and ask: "Are you OK?"
- Put the invitation out there: "I've got time to talk"
- Maintain eye contact and sit in a relaxed position - positive
body language will help you both feel more comfortable
- Often just spending time with the person lets them know you
care and can help you understand what they're going through
Tip 2. Use ice breakers to initiate a
conversation
Use open-ended questions such as "So tell me about...?", which
require more than a "yes" or "no" answer
You may also like to use the following questions to start a
conversation:
- "You know, I've noticed that you've seemed really
down/worried/stressed for a long time now. Is there anyone you've
been able to talk to about it?"
- "Lots of people go through this sort of thing. Getting help
will make it easier"
- "I hate to see you struggling on your own. There are people
that can help. Have you thought of visiting your doctor?"
Tip 3. Practice your listening skills
- Listen to what a person is saying, be open minded and
non-judgemental - sometimes, when someone wants to talk, they're
not always seeking advice, but they just need to talk about their
concerns
- Be patient - let the person take their time
- Avoid telling someone what to do: it is important to listen and
try to help the other person work out what is best for them
Tip 4. Be encouraging
- Encourage physical health. Maintaining regular exercise, a
nutritious diet and getting regular sleep helps to cope in tough
times
- Encourage the person to seek professional help from their
family doctor, a support service or counsellor, or a mental health
worker
- Encourage self-care. Sometimes people need to be encouraged to
do more to look after their own needs during a difficult time
Tip 5. Be helpful
What not to do when trying to help someone. It is unhelpful
to:
- Pressure them to "snap out of it", "get their act together" or
"cheer up"
- Stay away or avoid them
- Tell them they just need to stay busy or get out more
- Suggest alcohol or drugs
- Assume the problem will just go away
So is there someone you know - a fellow teacher, student or
colleague - who you think might be going through a tough time?
What could you say to them to start a conversation and support
them to get the help they need to get through this tough time?
Have you had a conversation with someone you cared about that
changed their life? Tell us about it - what did you say? How did it
help them? Share your successes with the community below ... we'd
love to hear your stories.