The Internet is like any other public space, it offers
opportunities to meet friends and strangers through social
networking sites, discussion groups and chat.
1 in 3 young people have someone on their buddy list who they
don't know in person; however these may be friends of friends,
popular artists and members of similar interest groups.
Interestingly about 40% of young people themselves say they are
engaged in identity play by pretending to be other people
online.
But taking the relationship from cyber space into a real life
scenario is not something that should be taken lightly. As the
research cited above states, a lot of people hide aspects of them
or embellish their personalities online. Young people are
particularly vulnerable to this, as they in many cases
wholeheartedly place all aspects of themselves and their lives
online.
To help a young person minimise harm, the
following advice should be conveyed to them:
Overall steps to take
- Don't put too much personal information on your social
networking page/s. Too much personal information can mean putting
what town you live in, where you go to school, your first and last
names, and where you hang out with your friends. The reason you
don't want to put personal information on your myspace/bebo is
because if you do, someone who doesn't know you could find you with
the information that you have put on myspace. This could be very
dangerous.
- Tell a trusted adult (parent/family member/friend) that you
intend to meet this person and give them a copy of the details you
have received.
- Do a bit of background checking (it's very easy to be someone
else online, no matter how long you've known them, you don't really
know them!), Google details, ask around in school, look in the
phone book, etc. You have to get as much information on them as you
can, to make sure they are the person they say they are (age,
school etc.) You can't be too cautious.
- Call them with an unlisted number, turn your caller ID sending
off (remember Text messages always give your number) or use a phone
booth. You should call rather than text, to hear their voice. You
can tell a lot from someone's voice. Get to know them over the
phone for a while before meeting them. Minimum of two weeks should
be enough. Always do the calling.
- Arrange to meet somewhere public. Somewhere you wouldn't
normally go. Do not meet at their place or yours. You want to do
your best to make sure you never meet them again, if things go bad.
Tell your parents where you are going, with whom and what time
you'll be home.
- You MUST bring either two or more friends or a trusted adult,
they can leave when you want them to and meet you at a set time
(pre-arrange this time and stick to it) when you're done. Stay at
that place for the duration of your first meeting. Remember the
person you are meeting, if they really are someone you should get
to know, will not mind.
- Meet them a few times under these circumstances until you are
certain they really are the person you've gotten to know online,
before giving them your details.
Tips
- If you have any reservations about meeting them, don't. Always
trust your gut feelings. It is extremely important to heed the "Red
Flags" that pop up in your mind when you sense or hear something
that just does not seem right about the person on the other
end.
- Avoid drinking alcohol before or during your meeting.
- When you talk to him on the telephone, and, after a bit of chit
chat, he suddenly starts talking about sexual things, or asks you
what you are wearing, hang up. This is a "Red Flag".
- Be wary if he suggests meeting at his place or yours. This is
another Red Flag; stop communicating with him immediately. Always
meet in a public, neutral place, preferably during the day.
- Take your time and stay in control, don't be persuaded to do
anything you feel uncomfortable doing, no matter what they
say.
Warnings
- Remember, you would not let a stranger you met in the street
into your house. So should you not allow Internet strangers,
either.
- Meeting strangers is potentially fatal. Be extremely
cautious.
- If they start to follow you or you "bump into" them more than
usual, then take action. Tell parents, teachers or the police.
Resources
Cyberspace Law and
Policy